Monday, March 14, 2011

Swirls In My Brain

It's nearly midnight, the night before this post is scheduled to post. One that I should have written weeks ago, since this is part of the blog chain, and I've known the topic for a while.

The topic this month is swirling, and quite honestly, the only swirling I can think about is the swirling of the things going on in my head, most of which do not involve writing, sadly.

  • Loose prayers echo through my skull, sometimes forming sentences I voice to God.
  • Thoughts of the things I need to do tomorrow.
  • Hopes that one of these days, my life will resume some semblance of "normal."
  • Concerns over new tests ordered for my son and what the results could mean in the long term.
  • Wondering when I may be able to resume a regular writing schedule.

The first item there is key. I can take the swirls in my head and voice them to God, and help calm all the confusion and chaos lurking inside my brain. I've been doing that a lot lately, a lot more than I used to, even a month or so ago. Praying can be very calming.

With the level of stress in my house right now, calm is in short supply, but I find if I can pray things out, even if it's just asking God to give my little boy another good day--usually meaning one in which vomit is not on the game plan for the day--I can be more calm, which helps keep my stress factor down.

Though, for some reason, my hair isn't reflecting this. I have about three times as many gray's as I did a year ago, and I haven't even hit the big 3-0 yet!

Hey, at least I still have my sense of humor.
"Cold Prayer" by Keith Riley-Whittingham

As a side note, due to the extreme craziness in my house right now, I may not be posting as regularly for a while. I intend to still strive for posts twice a month, and I'll try to continue on my regular weekly schedule, though some of these may be filled by guests.

By the way, if you are a writer or a reader and would like to be a guest blogger, whether to discuss a topic you've longed to have voiced, or to promote your upcoming book, please send me a note using the Contact Me button to the right of this post. I'd love to hear from you, and am always open to new bloggers, though I do prefer to keep the topic to writing and books.

Until next time,


Anonymous said...

Liberty, you're in such a tough place right now, but God is right there in the midst of the messiness with you. Praying for peace as you walk through these next few weeks. One day, you'll look back and be amazed at how far you've come, what you were able to endure, and how deep and strong your faith has grown. No matter the outcome, somehow the days with ill children do become "normal" and things we once thought we couldn't continue to do become routine. Lifting you and your sweet family in prayer, fellow writer.


Sheila said...

Thank you for sharing. My thoughts also have been swirling in my head, and it has been difficult for me to capture them in some sort of semblance of prayer. I'm glad you've been able to and that it's brought peace to you!

Debra Ann Elliott said...

This is what I needed this morning. What a great reminder.

Tracy Krauss said...

Yep, prayer is the one thing that needs our attention, in both the 'craziness and the calm. With god, the 'swirl' of life is bearable. Thanks for sharing. (I said a little prayer for you and your family, too)

Chris Perdue said...

A word of encouragement as you go through this difficult time: Remember the teaching of Scripture - Consider it all joy when you must go through fiery trials, for they are there to test and purify your faith. When we persevere in trials by seeking God's help, we develop godly character and stronger faith and perseverance.

TheWriteChris said...

What currently keeps me going through my own family's trials are the words from the Amy Grant song...

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah

Liberty Speidel said...

Thank you everyone! And, thank you for your prayers.

@Chris Perdue, that is something that I do remind myself of sometimes. I know there's a reason why we're going through this time, I don't know why, but how we handle it can be a big witness to those around us of little or no faith.

Sherrie said...

I find peace in a simple unspoken prayer. I find assurance in the Promises that God gives me.
Psalms 139:7-9 "Even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."
Liberty, God is holding you fast to your mission of giving special care so necessary for your son! Plus, a two year old to train and monitor. I admire you! Love, Mom

Suzanne said...

Don't feel alone, Liberty. I always have swirling thoughts winding their way through my head. Sometimes this is good because it can ignite my creativity. Other times it only leads to following the rabbit trails of "what if's" dropped by Satan to sidetrack me or cause me to doubt God.

Thankfully, God welcomes our swirling thoughts and will calm them when we turn our focus towards Him. It may not solve our problems, but He gives us a sense of peace that He is in control and we can trust Him.

Sarah said...

Praying for your family, Liberty, especially your son. Jeremiah 29:11 has always been an encouragement to me during times like these. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

TraciB said...

Praying for you and your family. The word "courage" came to me when I lifted y'all up, and also John 16:33, which has always been a faith lifter for me. Jesus told his disciples this shortly before his arrest: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

I pray for the storms to be calmed and the reports to be encouraging.

Adam Collings said...

It is very understandable that your brain is swirling at the moment. As the mother of a young baby, you are doing well to even be thinking about writing let alone doing some of it.

My prayers for you, your son and your family.

Keith Wallis said...

Don't let your 'wondering about the regular writing schedule' force you into a guilt trip - there's enough going on in that head!

Linda Yezak said...

How I wish these hard times you're having would pass more quickly. You amaze me! God's strength must be holding you up, because I sure don't see how you'd do it on your own!

Liberty Speidel said...

Thank you, everyone!

@Linda, yeah, I'm pretty sure it's God holding me up, and my irrepressible attitude. :)

@Keith, funny thing is, I feel guilty for not writing when I'm doing other things (cleaning, dishes, laundry, hiking, etc.) and I feel guilty for not doing other things when I'm writing! Bizarre....

@Adam, after my daughter was born, I actually got a healthy amount of writing done, but I hadn't stayed home before then, and was bored most of the time. Now that she's older, it's a little more hectic. But, you know? I find writing a good escape and it helps keep me sane. I just wish I could do more of it more frequently!

@TraciB and Sarah, both those scriptures are wonderful. I had Jeremiah 29:11 on my bedroom mirror before we moved, probably should put it and John 16:33 back up... but that would require hanging a mirror!

@Suzanne, isn't that the truth! :)

Thanks again everyone!

Nona King said...

You're in my prayers, Liberty. :( Thank you for the post and the update. Life seems to be swirling quite enough around you to give you a sense of chaos and adventure at the same time. Keep your chin up. God is watching over you.

lynnmosher said...

Liberty, bless your heart. It is so discouraging and upsetting when little ones are sick, but when they are sick and you don't know why or how to fix it, it is devastating. Keep your sense of humor and words of praise. Both will help. Still praying for all of you. May the Lord bless you with a special touch of His presence.

tamera Lynn Kraft said...

I love your blog, so I've awarded you the Versitle blog award on my blog.

Misty Cee said...

I love the picture you have of the "cold prayer". Thank you for that. I have been thinking about the fire bible global study edition, and I was wanting to know if you knew anything about it? I have been thinking about getting it. Your insights on it would be great. Thanks.

Liberty Speidel said...

Misty Cee, thanks for stopping by! I'm not familiar with this particular version of the Bible, so I can't offer any insights. A lot of my Bible reading as of late has been on my Android phone!

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